I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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