Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
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I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
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First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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