He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
there is glitter all over my balls
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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