her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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