im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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