I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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