Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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