i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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