Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
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Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
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He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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