I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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