everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
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i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
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thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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