just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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