your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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