he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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