I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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