I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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