Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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