eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize