Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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