My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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