No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize