the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize