It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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