Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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