White coat. Heels.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
BRING THE BAGELS
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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