don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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