Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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