Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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