That's intense
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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