Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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