Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize