I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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