Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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