I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize