Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize