I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize