:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
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he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
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Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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