i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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