Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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