I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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