why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize