eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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