You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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