I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
How does one acquire holy water?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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