He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
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I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
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There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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