Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize