he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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