Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
