At least make sure they are 18
Why
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
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I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
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I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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