Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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